RAW to be replaced by MMS

In a shocking revelation, our national security council has decided that since our intelligence services are an oxymoron , we shall now follow tradition and outsource this key service. As written in an earlier post, our country has been experimenting with new options to improve our outsourcing services and has now cracked this brilliant idea which will then also be offered by the Indian Government to other countries, after a GoM sits on the effectiveness of  implementation of the service.

Mylapore Maamis discussing secrets of the nation

For those of the readers who have no clue about what MMS is (the acronym being a clever use of Google keywords to guarantee viewership for this blog), it stands for Mylapore Maami Systems. It is a well known fact among South Indians that the spy network of Mylapore Maamis can beat the CIA and MI-6 when it comes to finding out gossip/ details about any poor relative who believes he can surreptitiously go on a date. The speed of the MMS network when it comes to discovering the marriage possibilities for a fellow working in the United States of Andhra Pradesh  has been established as approaching the speed of light and is said to be one  of the reasons for Einstein starting his work on relativity.Further it is well known that Mylapore Maamis know the streets of Connecticut better than the streets of Chennai. With their huge network of cousins and  relatives in the US, who either know or have a group photograph with Hillary Clinton / Obama,  it is expected that our intelligence expertise vis a vis USA will improve dramatically.

It is believed that by bringing in the Mylapore Maamis as outsourcing options for our intelligence services, we will be able to reduce manpower and costs  while maintaining our track record at digging up useless and unnecessary information about people in foreign countries. However the caveat is that when earlier, our intelligence services were easily ready to betray secrets for cash or fell prey to the wiles of a femme fatale ( vis a vis what happens to engineering students), the MMS might be ready to exchange secrets if they are assured brides for their grandsons / grand nephews.

P.S: Chennai citizens have been pleased by this statement. To quote a knowledgeable Chennai Cricket fan , ” This shows that the people of SennaiMetraas is not just knowledgeable in cricket and appreciation of cricket but also in appreciation of USA and the opportunities there”.

P.S : All statements in this blog are false and designed to be satirical. But you knew that anyway, right

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