5 ways Kingfisher will change Indian culture

The title of this post was to attract readers of a certain Mr Sainath, in the hope that it will improve the single digit number of readers of this blog. That said , now that you have arrived, I promise no amazing insights but some amazing pics of some very beautiful models somewhere in this post .

Beware for the child does not gently weep

Baby Silencers 

There is no sound as piercing and irritating as a baby wailing. As frequent fliers know , babies are always there to wreck the few moments of sleep one can get.Somehow most flights have children who choose to stay awake and try to imitate Rajdeep Sardesai in full flow. I propose two suggestions for all airlines – a) to highlight locations where babies have already been allotted seats so others can pay more for the privilege of not being seated near them(as shown in the pic above) b) for those who have no option but to sit next to the babies, the company can sell / rent out noise cancellation earphones.

Housie Prizes to be handed over by A K Hangal, oldest surviving winner of Housie

Housie

Most flights have at least half a dozen retired couples and a few joint families on board. For such groups, airlines must introduce Tambola competitions with prizes ranging from Milton waterbottles to Nataraj pencil boxes. People may also play super Dhanalaxmi bumper lottery specials on flights , the rewards of which may be availed in the form of air miles.For these middle aged folks, we can also have periodic Antakshari games with the climax being a rendition of Surangaani (lyrics to be shown on the screen , else people can always say Maalu maalu maalu ) .

Love Seats

Almost all flights (except those going to Tirupati) always have a few lovers or a recently married couple on board. To provide these folks an opportunity to put peanuts in peace, the airline industry can provide special love seats specially designed to allow couples to make out during the flight without some middle aged Mama glaring at them and murmuring “Indecent #kidsthesedays ” .Further, the airline company can make a killing by making the couple pay extra so that the airhostesses do not disturb them during the journey.

I did promise a picture of bootiful models. Ensoi

Two other ideas the airline industry could flirt with is the option of allowing passengers to bid for the option of actually having pretty air-hostesses on their flight. On Air India, this option shall probably be disabled but other airline companies could actually start an auction online so flights can bid for pretty airhostesses for their respective flights. Similarly they could also provide passengers the option of ordering Biryani + Beer as the standard meal instead of the horrible rice + paneer options provided . Kingfisher could wipe out all their debts just by selling beer and their calendars on their flights probably.

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